We’ve often heard the response from active Mary Kay consultants that bad experiences in Mary Kay can be blamed on a few “bad” directors or consultants in the company.
I finally realized that there’s a communication problem here.
The women who have had unpleasant experiences in Mary Kay aren’t saying that the directors and other consultants they encountered are necessarily bad people. It’s their behavior, the required Mary Kay speak and attitude, that is horrible.
There are more than “just a few bad apples” in Mary Kay, and they share many of the following behaviors:
- pushing consultants to spend more on inventory, Seminar and other events than they wanted to
- asking consultants to give up a Saturday morning with their family for a recruiting brunch
- placing phone calls to consultants asking them to place an order so “the team” can make production
- encouraging new recruits to take out a loan to pay for thousands of dollars of inventory because it’s a “business expense”
- teaching consultants that anyone who even questions the things you do in MK is simply negative
- trying to convince quitting consultants to try to sell their inventory rather than send it back to the company
- misleading women by stating that it “only costs $100” to start a Mary Kay business
- encouraging women to join Mary Kay for a hobby or personal use, then telling them they should purchase inventory and other items because it is really a business and needs to be treated as one
- informing women during the recruiting process that there is a dire need for consultants in their geographical area, when in fact, if anything, there are too many
- pressuring consultants into attending meetings and functions at times that are usually reserved for the family or encouraging them to reschedule family events so that they don’t interfere with Mary Kay events
These are just some of the things that we hear over and over from consultant after consultant.
The whole structure of the MLM and the promotion from corporate makes most women in Mary Kay adopt the same techniques and behaviors.
It’s not just one or two people behaving badly, representing Mary Kay poorly. It’s a common pattern.
They have to buy into the “dream” of Mary Kay in order to keep going. That means the HAVE to promote orders and recruiting and meetings and such. It’s part of the MLM business.
Mary Kay consultants who say that the negative things others experienced while in the company can be attributed to a few bad people are right if they mean that there are a few women in MK who do things that are ethically or morally questionable.
However, the common rah-rah and pushy behavior and is part of the majority of those who buy into the pink dream.
That was a good summary LJ. I just wanted to point out that most people don’t think outside of what MK teaches, the scripts, the events, buying inventory , having a full store, because they are also taught ” Don’t reinvent the wheel. Mary Kay Ash had a successful business plan and deviating from her plan will only delay your success”.
MKC teaches through the NSD’s and Directors that you must do everything EXACTLY their way. And they also teach “do it fast, slow is never”. This leads to blindly following and not stopping to think things through.
Any questions that seem to point out error in MKC speak are quickly Shhhhh’d and called “stinkin thinkin”. If you still aren’t successful, they tell you to pull out your scripts and work harder, your efforts aren’t focused in the right area. Go out and get a housekeeper, babysitter, office assistant. Be focused only on activities that bring in money.
I have found that other than those who are fogged, those that are truly happy and haven’t experienced the negatives have “stepped outside the guidelines” and done things their way. They won’t make a ton of money but they aren’t just handing out their cash for everything their Director or MKC tells them they NEED to do to be successful.
When/if you decide to get out of MKC, you will soon find yourself shunned by those you thought were your friends. I even had my SD whom was a very good friend send me emails telling me she would pray for me that I would stay away from those “anti-pink” websites.
I pray that she will finally visit and get out before she has to file for bankruptcy the 2nd time. She has been in the fog for 20 years, 7 years as a SD and she still, drives a School Bus, cleans offices and some homes and works 6 days a week from 5:00AM – 11:30 PM and she is 70+ years old!
That’s not how I wnat to spend my “golden years.”
I really feel bad for your former SD, Lipstick. I have a friend like this who has to work though she could be retired. In her case, it is because of a lot of medical bills. At least when my friend finally does retire, she will have a nice retirement package for all those years. Your former SD will have nothing except what she managed to save. That is really sad. 🙁 I’m amazed that she continues to promote this “dream” when she must be feeling the emptiness of it even more than most.
This is really something to think hard about when you hear the old scripts about quitting your job to do MK full time.
My favorite is pushing consultants to do MORE than what they are comfortable with – ie, 3 parties a week; devote 12 hours a week; reschedule a child’s b-day party in order to attend a MK Event – this coming from a NSD. I guess it’s all part of the “show up to go up” script but I did not join MK to leave my child at home all the time w/sitter! What happened to God First, Family Second and Career 3rd!
Well written, LJ… thanks for saying what so many of what to say. I’m still sick over the thousands of miles I piled on the family car driving to do ‘classes’… ‘classes’ where at times not a single soul showed up… ‘classes’ where the guests were more interested in visiting with each other and goofing off than in listening to me ‘teaching’ them about skin care and color… the list goes on. I’m SO thankful that I finally saw the light and got out of MK!
Very well written LJ! You’ve concisely said how it really is…..MK always keeps you spinning in so many directions that you have trouble seeing the real picture! Guess you could call it the spiny pink fog! Tee, hee, hee!
Just a few rotten apples.
That was very well put…..
I got into mary kay last month thinking I could make an extra income. My consultant who is a director in training couldn’t even tell me how it worked. You know as far as in order to keep your 1/2 off. I even asked how many people in my town were selling Mary Kay and she skipped around the question.
I had my grand opening. I invited 50 people and 4 people showed up. I was so depressed it was unbelievable. The 4 people felt so sorry for me that they each booked a “class”.
I just think some of the people in Mary Kay are too pushy. Like telling me I can write 3 checks postdated so I can spend over a $100. I just think that is bull.
I like Mary Kay products, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t think you need to be pushy. Like telling me everytime I order to get inventory. I have thought about that long and hard and I don’t want inventory. For one thing I don’t have room.
I don’t like being called once a week trying to make me do more things. Go here go there.
Sorry, I could keep going on, but had better stop.
I’m going to keep selling Mary Kay for a while and do it MY WAY. If they don’t like it, too bad.
It SHOULD be your way, Shirley! I would say if you aren’t comfortable with the way your director says and does things – talk to her about it! It is NOT required for you to do things her way! It is YOUR BUSINESS.
However, I would try to find a successful consultant or director (in your area would be best, but if not even long distance!) who you CAN get behind her methods! If you DO have encouragement and advice from someone who you can admire, it will help a lot!
You know, in my view Mary Kay has done their best to put together a system that is effective overall, i.e. the scripts, etc. But those are simply guidelines! I’ve spoken with many directors and each has her own method. You have to do what feels right for YOU, but don’t be angry at what has worked for others (unless it is through lying or misleading people).
To quote LJ, “It’s their behavior, the required Mary Kay speak and attitude, that is horrible.”
I appreciate your intent, LJ, but that is simply misleading to say that. You’re doing EXACTLY the same thing that you’re accusing MK of doing! There is NO SUCH THING as “REQUIRED Mary Kay speak and attitude.” NOTHING is required of you EXCEPT to purchase your starter kit ($115.75 here in FL), and purchase $200 twice a year to stay active. And we all know that if you love the product (and ifyou don’t you really shouldn’t be a consultant) you’re using at least that for yourself! (I personally use way more! LOL) All MK tries to do is teach you techniques to use, with the ASSUMPTION that you will use them honestly! I’ll use an example. I read on another post someone say something negative about being forced to compliment someone in order to, in effect, manipulate a girl into coming to a party or facial. If you feel like you’re FORCED to compliment someone, like LIE about her to get her to book, then you’re looking at it in TOTALLY the wrong way! For me, I KNOW how nice it feels for someone to say my hair looks nice, or an outfit makes me look pretty! Duh, all girls do! What that “script” is trying to encourage us to do is HONESTLY go out and make someone feel good! I was so scared to book people, so for a while (and I mean like 2 weeks) I determined to compliment 5 strangers per day. Just compliment, not book em, bring up MK, nothin! And you know what? It felt good! Some days I was at home all day, so I didn’t get to do that, but when I did it felt nice! Did I just make up crap? NO! I gave SINCERE compliments. So, just because you’ve either been taught wrong, or misused, or misunderstood a script, does not make MK Inc unethical. Give me an example of company literature that is unethical and I may change my mind on this issue. 🙂
With all due respect for your opinion, LJ (and I admit most of the examples you gave are, I agree, unacceptable), your examples were still of the words and actions of PEOPLE, not the company itself.
” “To quote LJ, “It’s their behavior, the required Mary Kay speak and attitude, that is horrible.” I appreciate your intent, LJ, but that is simply misleading to say that. You’re doing EXACTLY the same thing that you’re accusing MK of doing! “
What? How am I doing what you claim I’m accusing MK of doing? I really don’t understand your comment.
“I read on another post someone say something negative about being forced to compliment someone in order to, in effect, manipulate a girl into coming to a party or facial. If you feel like you’re FORCED to compliment someone, like LIE about her to get her to book, then you’re looking at it in TOTALLY the wrong way! ”
If you, as a Mary Kay consultant, compliment someone as a way to bring up Mary Kay, your compliment, in my opinion is bogus and tainted.
Do you normally go around complimenting other women, out of the blue, on their appearance? I don’t.
One time years ago, after I was out of MK, I was in the cosmetics aisle of a store. I see a woman out of the corner of my eye coming down the and next thing I know, I hear this voice next to
me say “Wow! You have great looking skin!”
Next thing I know, she’s asking me if I have tried MK and would I be her guest….blah, blah, blah.
What that “script” is trying to encourage us to do is HONESTLY go out and make someone feel good!
WRONGO! What the script is designed to do is to get you used to getting good at making an entre with someone so you can then direct the conversation, ever so casually, to Mary Kay. And then get their contact info. That’s the facts, whether you like it or not.
You think you’re giving a sincere compliment. If you then direct the conversation to MK, your compliment has just been reveal to be the bogus, sales introduction that it is designed to be.
…determined to compliment 5 strangers per day. Just compliment, not book em, bring up MK, nothin! And you know what? It felt good! ”
Of COURSE it feels good to be nice to people. I do that. Lots of people do. But that’s going to get you no where in MK and that simply isn’t the point of MK teaching warm chatter.
“your examples were still of the words and actions of PEOPLE, not the company itself.”
I didn’t give examples of exact words here. But I will respectfully disagree with your statement, because the company DOES teach consultants to do the very things that I have pointed out. Whether you like it or not.
I said noting of ethics, so I can’t give examples of something in the literature that is unethical.
Again, you just continue to prove the point of my article. Those in MK want to say it’s just a few people here and there. It isn’t. It’s inherent in the business. I didn’t say the individual women were necessarily bad people.
“To quote LJ, “It’s their behavior, the required Mary Kay speak and attitude, that is horrible.” I appreciate your intent, LJ, but that is simply misleading to say that. You’re doing EXACTLY the same thing that you’re accusing MK of doing! “
What? How am I doing what you claim I’m accusing MK of doing? I really don’t understand your comment. ”
Yeah, i suppose that was unclear! 🙂 What I MEANT was that you accuse Mary Kay of misleading people, by REQUIRING them to say and do certain things, into either becoming customers or consultants. When I read that comment it implies that the company itself encourages the consultants to be misleading and unethical, which the way I see it is untrue. So by making a statement that is, in essence, going to mislead people, it seemed a bit hypocritical.
I honestly don’t do a lot of warm chatter. However I do think it sad that our society ALWAYS expects an ulterior motive when faced with someone being nice. I’ll be honest though, I’ve made a lot of REAL friends by being a consultant. And that comes from being GENUINE and SINCERE. I’ve never been encouraged by anyone in the company to be anything other than that. My business requires that I be in contact with a lot of people, and do my best to make them feel important. I’m sorry if some feel like I’m being manipulative, but I know my own heart, God knows my heart, and that’s all that matters.
So, I disagree when you say my compliments are meaningless. When I compliment someone I make sure that it is the truth. I dont’ ever want to be called a liar, or manipulative.
“I said noting of ethics, so I can’t give examples of something in the literature that is unethical. ”
In my opinion, and maybe I’m just off the wall here… but if a company trains people to be dishonest and manipulative in order to make a buck (and that’s what I see you accusing of Mary Kay here of doing, not just in this post but numerous others), then I would consider that to be UNETHICAL. Wouldn’t you? So, yes, in my opinion you ARE speaking of ethics. Perhaps I am misunderstanding?
So, I disagree when you say my compliments are meaningless. When I compliment someone I make sure that it is the truth. I dont’ ever want to be called a liar, or manipulative.
When you make a sincere compliment being friendly and that’s all, there’s no problem. when you make the albeit “sincere” compliment as a lead in to Mk and getting a booking or a sale…that is manipulation…I don’t know how you can call it anything else, HONESTLY?
Most malls and dept stores, discount stores, grocery stores have strict “No Solicitation” policies, so I would say IMO that when MK suggests in scripts and training “warm chattering” starting with a sincere compliment to a stranger in a store that that is at least manipulative and if it’s breaking the rules then IMO it’s unethical to teach IBC’s to get leads that way!
Now if you break MK’s rules and sell in a retail setting, than you might find yourself terminated?
But warm chattering on a competitor’s turf is ethical?
Sarah, I think you are either an undercover MK Inc. spy or just trying to ruffle some feathers. which is it?
Exactly!
I’ve seen TONS of scripts that have suggested responses to rejections ie, “I use XX brand” Response: “Great! I’m looking for # of people who use XX brand to get a comparison.” Is that not MKC teaching us to break down rejections in order to “manipulate” the person to try MK?
I mean, I’ve never had a challenge issued by a SD or anyone else to find X # of people who use another brand. And all of these “challenges” that are issued by the SD, ie, 30 faces per month, are regularly, set, pre-determined # of faces for each month – a/k/a quotas.
Is there any reason why this is not a little bit on the gray side of the truth?
I do see where you guys are coming from. When people really view something a certain way from their heart (both you and myself) there’s really no way to change thier mind. I don’t view it as manipulation because if someone comes to my home for a facial that I’ve offered her, I upfront tell her she doesn’t have to buy anything. And if she walks out the door without buying anything, I don’t make her feel bad about that! I’ve had more opportunity to make friends that way. *shrug* that’s my view, if you see it differently that’s your freedom. 🙂
“Sarah, I think you are either an undercover MK Inc. spy or just trying to ruffle some feathers. which is it?”
First of all, I’m sure MK Inc has better ways to spend their time than to spy on websites like this one. Second – I think that was kinda mean. And neither is true.
What a trip!! Grow up I say. Get in the real world. I used to hate warm chattering, until I realized what I have to offer as a consultant. My clients are lucky to have me, I take great care of them. I deliver, or mail to them, I stock their colors, I will be sure to locate products that are changing, so they have a supply. i am up to date on whats new. Yes, they do buy more if you have it. Your deluding yourself if you think not.
I have clients that spend 200 a crack, cause every quarter, I am there with all the new items.
Mary Kay used to say “a ounce of pink tickets is worth more than a ounce of gold”
So treat them well. Women, wow, do the men think about having a inventory? How many hardware stores do you see where you come in and order what you want? If you came for a part
do you not want it now, and what would you do if they did not have it? You would go somewhere else.
Same thing if your looking for a new lipstick to go with your outfit that you are wearing to the wedding sat nite.
Don’t get me wrong, you can build it, its just harder. I do not know how many customers I pick up who say oh, you have the product now! Your kidding yourself about them not minding waiting. It turns women off and ends up sending them to the cosmetic counter.
Personally, If someone cannot do inventory, I do not pursue them. If they are going to take care of family and they don’t mind waiting, fine, but
not what I look for in a successful consultant.